Old Dallas Mountain Farms - Nigerian Dwarf Goats

GOAT GOLD & WEIRDNESS WEDNESDAY

Some mornings on the farm are loud, chaotic, and full of bad decisions.

And some mornings look like this.

Mini, Lily, Bella, and Hermie piled onto the sun deck, eyes half closed, chewing cud like a group of retirees who showed up early for the buffet. Bella and Hermie have gone full cuddle mode, because apparently personal space is optional when the sun hits just right.

This is Goat Gold.

GOAT GOLD:
Goats don’t just “chew” their cud for fun. When they’re lying like this, calm and settled, their bodies are literally optimizing digestion. Heart rate drops, stress hormones decrease, and they convert yesterday’s questionable plant choices into usable energy.

Translation: this is peak goat happiness.
Warm boards. Full bellies. Zero responsibilities.
Living better than most of us.

And now we ruin it.

WEIRDNESS:
There is a documented medical phenomenon called “exploding head syndrome.”

It is not fatal.
Nothing actually explodes.
But people who experience it hear a sudden, extremely loud noise in their head while falling asleep. Think gunshot, cymbal crash, door slam. Completely imaginary. Entirely convincing.

Doctors still don’t know exactly why it happens.
The brain just decides to fire off a jump scare for no reason.
At bedtime.
As a treat.

The goats have reviewed this information and would like you to know they will continue chewing cud peacefully while your own brain sabotages you at night.

Pictured:
Mini, Lily, Bella, and Hermie
Masters of relaxation.
Unbothered by intrusive thoughts.
Judging us gently, from the sun deck.

Sunday Sweetness

Lily and Mini, who are full sisters, parked on their favorite sun deck and chewing their cud together like it’s a scheduled activity.

Same genetics.
Same sunshine.
Same slow, thoughtful chewing.

They’ll sit like this for a while, blinking at nothing in particular and clearly thinking very important goat thoughts.

This is one of those rare, peaceful farm moments where absolutely nothing dramatic is happening.
Which, frankly, feels suspicious.

GOAT GOLD & WEIRDNESS WEDNESDAY!

It’s Wednesday, and Mini has been separated from the herd.
Not because she’s in trouble.
Not because she wandered somewhere she shouldn’t have.

Because this is her routine.

Every morning, Mini is escorted away for special treatment, extra calories, and a level of service the others can only watch from a distance. She waits calmly. She does not rush. She knows exactly what’s coming.

She also knows the rest of the herd is aware of this arrangement.

And she is chewing her apple slowly.
On purpose.

GOAT GOLD:
Goats are extremely good at learning routines that benefit them.
Once a goat realizes a specific behavior leads to better food,
they will repeat that behavior calmly, consistently, and without remorse.

Mini did not wander into this arrangement.
She memorized it.
She shows up early.
She waits patiently.

She has weaponized compliance.

WEIRDNESS:
There is a real place in Japan where people pay to sleep next to strangers.
No conversation.
No touching.
No names exchanged.

You pick a time slot, lie down fully clothed,
and experience “human presence” for comfort.
That’s it.

It exists because loneliness became a business model.

No one involved thought this was strange enough to stop.

Pictured:
Mini.
Enjoying her apple.
Aware of the hierarchy.
Fully satisfied with how things have turned out.

Sunday Sweetness

Up front is Baah-Bie Dahl (aka Bobbi), offering her best “excuse me, do you have a moment” look.
In the background is Ladies Nite (aka Lady), quietly observing from just inside the barn.

Quiet moments like this don’t last long around here, but we enjoy them while we can. By afternoon, someone will be standing on something they absolutely shouldn’t be.

GOAT GOLD & WEIRDNESS WEDNESDAY

Some weeks the goats give us cute.
Some weeks they give us chaos.

And then there are weeks like this one.

Every morning when the big boys come out for breakfast, Born Yesterday (Bornie) strolls up for his daily face scratches. At that exact moment, Boston decides this is the perfect time to… demonstrate enthusiasm for life.

It happens every day.
Same time.
Same routine.
Zero shame.

We have added black bars to protect the “innocent.”
The quotes feel appropriate.

GOAT GOLD:
Mounting in goats is often less about romance and more about social dominance and excitement. Bucks will posture, pose, strut, and generally act like furry, dramatic soap opera characters. They take themselves very seriously. The rest of us try not to laugh. We usually fail.

WEIRDNESS:
Octopuses have three hearts.
Two pump blood to the gills and one pumps blood to the rest of the body. When they swim, the main heart actually stops, which is one reason they prefer to crawl instead.

So yes. Somewhere in the world there is an animal with three hearts… and still less barnyard drama than these two.

Pictured:
Bornie, politely requesting affection.
Boston, absolutely on his own wavelength.
And one farmer who did not agree to this storyline.

Sunday Sweetness

This is Lil Bit Sunthin.
Lil Bit is stuck.

We are not entirely sure how she got herself into this position.
We are equally unsure how long she planned to stay here.
What we do know is that she is a goat, and goats specialize in finding ways to get stuck in places they absolutely do not need to be.

She was rescued shortly after this photo was taken and immediately went back to doing normal goat things, like pretending nothing happened.

If this is your first Sunday with us, welcome. This is pretty much how it goes around here.

And if you think this is something (or sunthin), just wait until you see what we have lined up for this week’s Goat Gold and Weirdness Wednesday.
It’s… weird.